Crisis triggered.  Seems to be my life story.  I started blogging during the last crisis which was exactly 11 yrs ago after a bad fall.

Now this crisis is deeper.  After being diagnosed with the dreaded C last friday.  My days have been a daze, doctors' visits, seeking 2nd, 3rd opinions, alternate treatments.  Reaching out to those closest to me, if not for them, i think i wld not have been able to progress daily.  Did being able to say the C word helped?  Dont know.  Seeking spiritual help and support. Resorting to prayers, trying desperately to seek answers to calm my mind.

Am i afraid to die?  You bet, but we all live to die one day, its only a matter of when.  Questioning what did i not do right?  How the heck did i get this?  Realising and accepting its part of my negative karma.  Reading, listening to lots of You Tube vidoes, slowly accepting that the C illness is a symptom that its time to wake up, take charge and fix my life.  Hopos copus, am i trying to kid myself?

My closest friends shocked, devastated.  The biggest disclosure is yet to come, i have not informed my mother - tossing between telling half a truth to the full truth.  I think i will tell the whole truth, because i wouldnt want her to "beat herself up" on it, blaming herself for not having taken care of me enough.

Next week is a game of challenge, deciding on the best treatment options.  Will my thoughts be as chaotic as this week?

Beginning of Kremlin walkabout

Entrance to the Kremlin is at R350 which allows access to the Patriach's Palace and the Cathedrals Square. Ticket at R750 would allow access to the Armoury Chamber/Diamond Fund Museum. The Trinity Tower, erected in 1495. Upper part built in 1685 and clock completed in 1686. Underground of the Tower was used as a prison before. Vladimir Lenin passed through this gate to enter the Kremlin. Height of the Tower with the star 80m. It is the highest Tower within the in the Kremlin. Arsenal Building was built on Peter I's orders in 1701 and used as an armory and ammunition store. The building was destroyed by fires in 1737, one year after it was completed. It was restored fifty years later but part of the building was blownup by the French in 1812 and again restored. The State Kremlin Palace built in 1959 and completed in 1961. The building has hall which seats 6000 and 2000 seat banquet hall. The Senate Building built between 1776-1787. During Soviet history, the USSR Council of Ministers were held here.

Outside Kremlin, May 31st

Bright summer evening

Nice address plague Consider getting a tattoo done when shopping Pancake temptation

Shopping ala Moscow, May 30th

izvinitiye, pa ja loosta, what do i get when i get there

No bluff, view from metro ride in Moscow